Sexual Bravado and Sexual Politics Involved in Female Orgasm

We all have vocal chords but that does not mean that everyone can sing or even wants to. Similarly they may all have a clitoris but not every woman masturbates.

Kinsey concluded that around 30% of women are ‘sexually unresponsive’. At the same time because he simply documented what women told him, his report made every woman an authority on orgasm. No one has questioned the biological, physiological and psychological mechanisms that might justify how these orgasms are achieved.

“If the mountain will not come to Muhammad, then Muhammad must go to the mountain!” Kinsey found that only some women respond sexually but female orgasm has been redefined today in emotional terms to make it ‘achievable’ by more women.

These are ’emotional orgasms’ because they depend on a loving relationship. Sexual response is subconscious so a woman cannot make a conscious choice to orgasm with one man because she loves him and not with another because she doesn’t.

Some women are promiscuous simply as a form of experimentation. Women also gain financially or politically through sex. Women enjoy casual sex, not for orgasm but, for the thrill of the chase, the compliment, the novelty and sexual ego. A woman cannot use a man’s body for orgasm but she can play on his insecurities as a lover.

Anyone in the sex industry (including therapists) makes money out of a positive spin on women’s sexuality. But Kinsey noted that in many cases therapists are selling false hope to women who are naturally lacking in the erotic responses needed for orgasm.

One cannot present a fair picture of heterosexuality without acknowledging the advantage for women who respond as a lover by appearing to be sexually aroused or who appeal to male fantasies by talking about sex as if it is orgasmic for women.

But it is not objective research to assume that intercourse is orgasmic for women and then to try and invent ways of ‘proving’ how women respond to vaginal stimulation.

Men enjoy foreplay because it adds to their own arousal. Women don’t have the same incentive to stimulate a man because doing so does not cause their arousal in the same way. Hence why many women never volunteer any sexual pleasuring.

A man appreciates a lover who provides some response to love-making. A woman needs to anticipate and also to offer more explicit pleasuring. Men don’t always want to be in the position of having to ask. They want to imagine that a woman might enjoy pleasuring them. This is part of the fantasy to some degree.

When we talk about a person being sexual we often talk in terms of their ability to orgasm. But orgasm only lasts a few seconds. A woman’s sexuality revolves more around her ability to arouse a partner and engage in pleasuring a lover through sex.

The ideal female lover takes an active role in sex. She responds to suggestions for spending intimate time together and is willing to explore more adventurous sex play.

An unresponsive lover leads to male performance problems. A woman’s generosity depends on a man’s sensitivity to her needs and on the quality of the relationship.

Office Politics – Seven Savvy Tips

Office Politics is a fact of life, like death and taxes, and similarly best dealt with square on. Ignoring or avoiding often leads to getting blindsided, benched or even blacklisted. While you may not relish the game as many people do, you must at least acquire a modicum of political savvy to be effective in any job requiring you to work with and through other people. Here are seven tips to get you started. Who knows? Once you get a little more savvy, you may even want to learn more.

1. Get Perspective. It’s just a job, not your entire life…I hope! Sane people recognize that the workplace is really an impersonal game complete with goals, obstacles, rules, teams, players, coaches, rewards, referees and ways to influence the referees. Know the rules, study the players, learn the moves, get coached and practice. You will win some and you will lose some. Play hard, celebrate the victories, pick yourself up when knocked down, and then go home and enjoy the rest of your life. If you try to make your job the focus of your entire life, you’ll not be able to get the distance you need to effectively deal with any professional dilemma including office politics.

2. Focus. What’s my goal and what price am I willing to pay? These are two vitally important questions you need to ask yourself frequently to stay on a track of your highest choosing. How easy it is to get pulled down a path with lots of negative unintended consequences when you react with an emotional knee jerk. What’s my goal? Short term; like in the next few minutes or long term; as the next ten years. Both types of goals require a conscious choice fully aware of the price to be paid. A politically astute strategy requires a savvy choice of goals.

3. Get Savvy. Get Real. Grow Up. Savvy is the acquired ability to operate successfully in any environment. It is the organizational “street smarts” that allows you to deal with the world the way it is, rather than the way it is supposed to be. Don’t whine about the political, economic or social realities of your workplace situation. Deal with them. Savvy people are flexible, adaptable, capable of reading people and situations and are able to respond effectively – they are truly “response-able.”

4. Barter. Success is usually a joint venture. Since you need the cooperation of others to succeed, the ability to influence is paramount. Instead of arguing, convincing or proselytizing, all emotionally draining weak efforts, try the mutually beneficial smooth power strategy of bartering. “I’ll help you if you help me.” Give something to get something. Be of benefit to others and reap the rewards of payback. Do keep track of those looking for just a handout vs. those willing to reciprocate. Business is the exchange of goods service and favors. Be business-like with the resources you have at your disposal and make a fair exchange. You will soon have the resources, talents, skills and protection of others at your disposal if you also remember to payback.

5. Get Connected. Develop an extensive network of allies. Do not limit your network to only those people you like or those with whom you have a lot in common. That’s a support group! Focus on people you need. Your alliance network should provide you with access to resources, information, connections, experience and counsel. Allies may be temporary, or long term loyal partners. They may even come from the opposition’s camp. They are not necessarily people you like, but they are always people you need. Invest the time, money and effort to get well connected. Soon you will be able to use your allies’ connections, too. And remember, it is the mutually beneficial exchanges, the bartering of favors, which keep alliances strong.

6. Be Resilient. Capitalize on change. Resiliency is the ability to utilize the ever-changing environment to your advantage. You don’t have to like what’s happening, but if you can’t stop it or change it, find a way to use it. Dinosaurs lacked resiliency. So do many un-savvy people. Insisting that the world around you shouldn’t be the way it is will only land you in a tar pit. Look for the opportunity in the change you may be resisting. Because they are so rare but so valuable in these turbulent times, resilient people will always have career security.

7. Depersonalize. Don’t take it or give it personally. This tip alone can save a career. Don’t act personally in an impersonal system. This doesn’t mean you can’t be friendly or have fun with your colleagues, but the company is not your family nor should you confuse it with a circle of friends! The workplace is fundamentally an impersonal system designed to accomplish task, not to take care of people.

You will alternately profit and lose from company decisions that are always made in the best interest of the company first. Don’t take it personally! The organization’s mission is to make money…and so is yours. Never think of yourself as an employee, rather consider yourself “You, Inc.,” in joint venture with your organization and your colleagues. This makes your boss your very own customer. Take good care of your business. Then go home where you can and should be very personal!

Regaining Political Control: Will Democrats Use A Successful Strategy?

Under ordinary circumstances, when any President, could brag about the quality of the American economy, he would be considered, an, almost, shoo – in, for being reelected! However, as most realize, these are anything, but normal times! On the other hand, when an incumbent has such low favorable ratings, as President Trump, you might think it’s easy, to regain control of the White House. But, once again, we are going through, a very unusual, period of time. While we might expect, Mr. Trump, to continue campaigning, for reelection in 2020, as he has, during his well – attended rallies, by using lots of rhetoric, making numerous claims, often, instilling fears, by blaming immigrants, etc, it is far less certain, precisely, what might be the Democratic Party’s plan/ strategy, to defeat this President, while simultaneously, gaining control of the U.S. Senate, and maintaining their majority, in the House of Representatives. With that in mind, this article will attempt to, briefly, consider, examine, review, and discuss, some of their options.

1. Focus on Trump: Although, most polls, indicate, potential voters, oppose many of Mr. Trump’s policies, actions, rhetoric, etc, and, there continues, to be, mistrust, based on the numerous, reported activities of his campaign, and those around him (as well as other potential scandals), the strength and loyalty of the President’s core supporter/ base, as well as the layout of the Electoral College, makes it uncertain, if one, can be elected, simply by opposing an incumbent, especially with the advantages, most incumbents have, in campaigning!

2. Out – Progressive, each other: How far to the political left, does the electorate, want, the Democrats, to move? Will nominating, someone, considered, far, left – of – center, drive away independent voters, and more moderate individuals? Won’t this make it easy for Trump, who would undoubtedly, use rhetoric, and negative slogans, and other scare tactics, to convince these voters, they should be scared to vote for them?

3. Maintaining progressive voters: When Hillary Clinton was nominated, many of Bernie Sanders’ most ardent supporters, either did not vote, voted for one of the minor candidates, or cast their votes, for Donald Trump! If Sanders, does not get the nomination, will we see this again? Which candidate, or candidates, might be attractive to these individuals, while appealing to more moderate people, also?

4. Women voters: How might women react, to the rhetoric of this President, and the apparent, anti – choice, policies, and ideas? Will there be a better than usual, turnout? How can Democrats, attract these voters, without taking them, for granted, and avoiding, being an, one – issue, party/ campaign?

5. Minorities: Will the rhetoric of hate and blame, bring minorities, out, in greater numbers, than usual, or, will, it attract and inspire, the people, Ms. Clinton, referred to, as the Deplorables, to go the polls?

6. Age: How big a factor will age, be? Since 3 of the leading (in the polls), Democratic candidates, are about 70, or older, as is President Trump, will age be a factor? Do the voters want someone younger? Would someone, less identified, with the status quo, or younger, have more appeal?

7. What’s the plan – What do they represent?: Do voters want to hear a different vision, which addresses, needs, perceptions, priorities, and, is relevant and sustainable? How will they balance the need to pay attention to climate change issues, while showing a better way, to address the economic, job – related, and health care needs, of our citizens?

8. Health care: Is Medicare For All, appealing to potential voters, or will it scare them away, because of the unknowns, such as costs, how it might work, etc?

9. Regaining control of Congress: Unless/ until, Democrats also control both houses of Congress, how will things, really change, for the better? This will require a district – by – district, state – by – state, battle, with ideas, and viable solutions, to restore the many threatened American Constitutional guarantees, such as freedoms, justice, and liberty, for all!

There’s no easy question to this topic. Balancing politics, common sense, and empathy, will be a necessity, to do so!